The Motherload, aka, Shelob

First of all i would like to dedicate this post to someone who goes by the name of Voldemort, for her persistent efforts to keep this blog alive.

He had earned his place in this society...nah just kiding but seriously, to the experienced excretion-etor or shall we say a connoisseur of turds this felt like your average 2 minuter. One minute pushing, 30 seconds wiping, and the rest of it ( flushing, sanitizing, bla bla bla). Not today, this turd is worthy of significant scrutiny, the catalyst of a new saga of Coeliac Flux, his name was...........Ishmael.

It all began with the normal push, crap , push again, but on the second push it was complete pandomnia for life in the toilet bowl, as a shower of feculence splatteredd against its once oh so very white walls, post this explosion a series of flatulent booms where issued from my cheecks, of eardrum bursting Quality . As all this went on, I was in ecstatic in enthusiasm, realizing this was just the inspiration i needed to add another chapter to Coeliac Flux.

Part 2 .
I heaved, i weeped, i rejoiced at the sweet release this I had experienced. I truly thought i had nothing left to offer to the shrine like status my toilet had acheived. I gave it one last effort, a collaborative of thoracic and abominable muscles working in harmony to deliver the ultimate load, a meadow of stank and crap in its purest form, followed by a cloud of noxious gas. Just to impress how stanky this was, if this event transgressed in a elevator , noses would cease to be noses, just a lump of pointless skin with no purpose as all smell receptors would have ceased to be after smelling this stank.

Special thanks to all the toilet paper roles which where sacrificed to clean up this mess.